AHHHH!!! Spiders are now, in cold hard fact, the most horrible living thing on the planet!! I can kill the flies myself!! Come and hear the spider tale I tell!
About 5 minutes ago, I got out of the shower and hopped into bed. (I am waiting for Jon to get home from work) I turned to face the wall and there was the spider from HugeSpidersVille on the wall waiting to greet my wet hair.
Being the brave girl I am, I said, I can handle this!! And ran to the kitchen for a hefty wad of paper towels, squished them in a ball then ran for the spider ready to fulfil my heroic act! As I stuffed the towels down onto the spider, something happened, the Houdini spider somehow escaped my threatening squish!!! (WHAT??!!)
Not once, did this escape artiste' manage, but 5 times!!! As my courage began to turn to weakness and fear, the loathsome eight-legs did something HORRIBLE, in all its unholiness, it JUMPED onto my hand!
In that moment, any ounce of hope and courage of this beast being sent to its maker, exploded to pieces and I let a blood-curling shriek rip through my throat and went into hysterics while the little devil vanished under my bed!! Once I calmed myself, I moved the bed in attempt to find the little creeper, but to no avail. And here I am perched atop my bed, not wanting to sleep, or even to put my head down for fear of the eight-legged beast to take its revenge on me in my sleep. ...really, what would you do.
So, I called my strong and brave shamen in shining shoulder pads (reference to Jon's WOW character) and told him there was an emergency and he needed to come home at once!! He asked what was wrong, so I told him.. and he did not come home. No, there is no happy ending to this tale. Hopefully, I can survive the night...